Sometimes I think about my male writer friend. He has no kids and he works from home. I fantasize about what his day might look like: He gets up in the morning, makes himself a coffee and a breakfast snack, maybe reads his e-mail or the NYTimes online, goes for a run, gets in the shower and gets dressed, then sits down at his desk to work for a good solid two to three hours uninterrupted until lunchtime. This lifestyle seems like a dream to me.
Currently, my mornings look like this: I get up when Fuzz wakes up- although I hear Shnook and TSA for about an hour or so earlier. I change Fuzzball's diaper and clothes since he's inevitably peed through his overnight diaper after his nightly co-sleeping nursefest that happens from about 2am to an hour or so before the real wake-up time. I bring him into the kitchen and make a one-handed coffee and slice of toast, Shnook follows me in there and I make him his second breakfast- whatever I'm eating. Kid eats like 3 breakfasts, FYI.
We head into the den to drink coffee, and nurse, when I can sometimes check my e-mail. Then we might have a morning dance party. Sometimes, we read a story or watch Boat Launch Fails or Bill Dance Fishing Bloopers on youtube or maybe a cow milking demonstration. In case you're wondering, I had nothing to do with any of these influences except the cow milking. Then it's time to battle Shnook out of his pajamas for “run around in undies” time. This follows another twenty to thirty minutes of playing/making sure Shnook doesn't kill Fuzz. To be fair, TSA is home most of the time now, so he really does the main Shnook wrangling, but I am often needed to intervene or assist in his morning activities. Then, it's time for Fuzz's nap- if he hasn't pooped through an outfit by this point it is a miracle. When Fuzz finally goes to sleep, and Shnook has a daycare day, I might get some writing in, or I might be able to attempt to clean up the eternal mess that is my den/living room/kitchen/bedroom/bathroom, or some days, I just have to take care of my body and exercise or nap. When Fuzz wakes up, it's time for lunch. I feed him some solids, we nurse, change, etc. Then we go for a walk or I play with him, or maybe take him on an errand until his next nap, which often happens while we are out and about. Fuzz cannot stand it when I look at my computer or my phone. He gets annoyed in a way that makes me almost alarmed. If I try to answer a text or reply to an e-mail with one hand, I am often met with squirming and squealing, so much so that I can barely even get out a 6 word sentence. This gets me to shut my laptop and enjoy him, which is a good thing.
So, what I'm trying to say is that it is rare when I get a chance to write at all during the day, let alone finish something.
There are times in life where we have time, but no inspiration. Then there are times we have inspiration, but not a lot of time. I'm in one of those periods right now. I have small unannounced pockets of time thereby forcing my motivation to be on call. I have no real guarantee that I will finish anything, until the kids go to sleep and I'm already too exhausted to do anything.
However, despite the fact that it's frustrating to have to steal moments here and there for writing- I'll take this lifestyle. Some day those morning dance parties will be gone, no one will want to climb all over me or be attached to me 24/7. Finally, finally (even though I will still complain non-stop, don't fret) I can see the challenges of parenthood for what they are. Yes, there are elements that suck. Life is never the same. I wish I could get more done. I wish I had the output of some of the mom bloggers who I'm convinced must have some kind of drug enhancement in order to keep up their writing pace. Either that or lots of babysitters.
Maybe someday my writing day will look like my friend's, or maybe it won't. Either way, I'll keep writing.
Thanks for reading, friends.
