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    « Of Love and Hate, Anger and Confusion | Main | Another Life Down »

    July 27, 2012


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    Oh god. The evil pancreatic cancer strikes again. It is AMAZING to me, in retrospect of course, while it was happening we didn't quite know what was going on, that my mother-in-law fought it for THREE YEARS. It was certainly not pretty, but she knew what she wanted: to see her grandkids grow up as much as possible and to have them remember her. The fact that she travelled to Chicago and PA in the last weeks of her life, knowing it was the last time she was going to see us, even though she didn't tell us, took strength I can only imagine. She did things differently than I would have done them (big surprise) but then again she was facing something I hope I never have to face. Love to you and your family. How can I get a copy of the sea shanties?!


    I'm so sorry to hear of this. I cannot offer advice because I have not been in the same circumstances, but send your whole family lots of love and hope that you can all spend some time enjoying Uncle G and filling this time with love.

    Naomi O Aytur

    J- so interesting as my MIL did such a similar thing (the whole not telling thing, also not my style, nor my family's) I'm sure Uncle G has been living with it for a long time without knowing it. He's never been the best at taking care of himself...didn't inherit that hypochondria thing that the rest of us seem to have.

    Re: The Sea Shanties- I will get on that ASAP. You should totally have a copy. N (and eventually J) will love them. He normally sells them when he plays, but they also sell them at a few places in L.A. like McCabes on Pico.

    Naomi O Aytur

    Thanks so much, Emily.


    Just keep it simple and don't tell them more than they ask about. That was the advice our pediatrician gave us when my FIL was sick.

    Naomi O Aytur

    Thanks, Cindy.


    That's devastating. I'm so sorry. Having kids brings mortality into a whole new perspective, doesn't it. I hope he can enjoy his last days, weeks, months.


    oh man alive, that's horrible. it's got to be particularly difficult since you're on the other side of the country right now. thoughts and prayers, girl.


    So sorry to hear this. I have not had to deal with this directly, but not sure I would mention anything to Shnook now bc it may just be too abstract. Love to all of you. Your stories of your uncle have certainly made me smile.


    I'm sorry to hear about this. There are probably some good children's books to explain death and dying, I would start there. Would write more but don't have time.


    I'm so sorry. My dad died of lung cancer in May, and I agonized over how to tell them. It was interesting to me how they took it differently, because of their personalities and ages. Very sad, but they are ok.

    Naomi O Aytur

    @Alexis- I was so sorry to read that your Dad died. The combination of grieving for him and trying to help your kids understand his death must have been beyond challenging. Hugs.

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