I noticed after reading Time Magazine a few too many times, they have this little formulaic thing they do with a cover story. In a center 2-page spread they'll have all sorts of side-bar graphics with statistics and little known facts about the issue.
Most of the time, these little tidbits are not grounded in anything concrete at all.
I thought that was brilliant.
So, I made up my own for the current event of my life, which for the next 5 days is a solo parenting experience.
Here goes:
1 - Number of dishes I was able to do before I noticed Fuzz opened the nozzle on the 2.5 gallon jug of spring water.
2 - Number of boobies Fuzz reminds me that I still have.
24: The font size Fuzz just chose when trying to distract me from writing this post
100,000: Number of dollars of merchandise from TSA'**s company that FedEx lost.
10,000: Highest amount of money for which you can insure a FedEx item
5: Number of days TSA** will have to be gone to fix the above problem.
4: Time TSA** left the house to catch his flight back to L.A.
20: The number of hours of sleep I'll probably get in the next 4 nights combined.
482: Number of times a day Shnook asks about his birthday.
6: Number of beers in the fridge at present
3: The Calms Forte that I took and are not making me Calms with any Forte.
7: Mosquito bites at present
5.5: Days until Shnook's birthday party
2: Things I've done so far to prepare for this party
35: Minutes of napping by Fuzz today
16: Minutes of napping by Shnook today
2: Nap Transfer fails
32: Number of rocky outdoor steps I had to carry both children in which to transfer for naps
5: Number of beers in the fridge at present.
3: Netflix movies that are not watched due to a broken DVD player (thank you, Fuzz)
121: Minutes my children have been asleep already
0 to 10: Minutes I have before Fuzz wakes up and therefore the amount of time I have to finish this post.
3: Ounces of beer left in my bottle
46: Number of years my parents will have been married by tomorrow
3: Number of times I'll remind myself to call them but will forget or not have a free moment until my mother calls me to remind me it's their anniversary.
.001 Ounces of energy left for doing anything today.
**TSA is my husband (those are his initials). The FedEx incident nor any part of this blog has anything to do with the Transit Security Administration.
2: times I read this!
Posted by: Jen Plante | July 03, 2012 at 12:09 AM
You've already done some stuff to prepare for the party five days ahead? Give yourself some credit.
Posted by: Rebecca | July 03, 2012 at 05:16 AM
@Rebecca- does finding a cake recipe online count as one thing?
@Jen Plante- hooray!
Posted by: Naomi O Aytur | July 03, 2012 at 06:32 AM
Seems like you will get to 99 easily by end of the week
Posted by: Jessica | July 03, 2012 at 07:50 AM
But a bitch ain't one? Is that helpful? (Sorry about offending anyone). I wish you strength and fortitude.
Posted by: Danielle | July 03, 2012 at 09:14 AM