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    November 12, 2010

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    Mindy

    Wow, I can relate to so much of this in terms of the toddler, so hard to imagine how you do it juggling an infant too. N wants to do everything herself, and I love that, but it's sometimes incredibly unpredictable which things she'll freak out about if you do them for her.

    The way I've been dealing with this time of day is to get together with another mom and kid a couple of times a week, either at their house or mine (I'd go to a playground before it started getting dark early). While it seems like a weird time for a playdate, it's really helped a lot since so many people are in the same boat when their spouses come home late. It makes a difficult time of the day easier, even if it's just for an hour. We'll feed the kids together (and I notice N eats more when there's another kid there), which makes my life easier too.

    Also, another mom friend of mine just proposed forming a group of families for a weekly pizza night. We'll rotate houses so you only have to host once in a while, it will be chaos, but the kids will get fed and it's one less night of having to deal on your own. I think it will help us get through the winter.

    Naomi

    Yes, Mindy! Yes, we were doing this back before I had two! I should definitely start doing it again, at least once or twice a week. It will help. It is hard now that he goes to daycare and it's dark out, also, a lot of other kids go to bed earlier than he does. But somehow, I've gotta find a way to make at least one night more pleasant!

    Heather B.

    Hi Naomi, it's Heather from WO. I am a little past this. My youngest is 4 1/2. When I had my second (and he was a screamer), our bathroom was right outside his bedroom, so for bathtime, I would put the baby in his crib(and let him cry if I needed him to) and wash the oldest in the tub. I would then rock and read to the baby and oldest at the same time. There were many times when I would nurse the baby with the oldest sitting in my lap too. The oldest would then get the special privelege of going in mommy and daddy's bed to watch a show while I put the baby to bed. He went to sleep a good half hour to hour earlier than the oldest. That left mommy/oldest time for us at the end of the evening so we would read books, snuggle and bed. My oldest was 2 1/2 when my second was born. Thankfully, he was very accomodating. I feel your pain with the husband thing. Mine has, unfortunately, never been home for bedtime. At some point, it will get easier for him not to be home because it becomes disruptive. By the time the third came along, we did what the other poster (Mindy) suggested. Once a week, a friend and I would switch off houses for pizza. Misery loves company and the kids had a blast. They are still very good friends today, even though we have moved from South Orange. I finally figured out by the third that, if a baby is screaming at 6pm, it's because he is tired. I would put my youngest down then and he would sleep through the night(except for nursing). It does get easier. I just find this age of babies to be very difficult. The sleep deprivation sets in, and so does the depression, so be careful! I hope this helps a bit.

    Naomi

    Hi Heather!!
    So glad you're reading the blog!
    I think when the baby gets a little older and has more of a schedule, I might be able to do what you did. Right now he sleeps for short spurts at the end of the day and fusses before he goes down for his 'long' sleep (10-2 or 3 if I'm lucky) and he'll sometimes take 20-30 minute naps in the evening (also, if I'm lucky) and I can squeeze bathtime in there. Basically, I do what you did- put Fuzz in the bassinet or the swing-sometimes to screaming while I wash Shnook.
    I also agree about the husband disruption thing. When I was still nursing Shnook, I would put him to bed, and then it became a Daddy ritual when we stopped, but I think we're going to have make another change with that one even though it's going to make it harder for me. I hope that soon Fuzz will go down for longer stretches, but for now I can't complain about 4 hours!

    jamie beth

    i have no advice, but i am thinking this is instant birth control .... sheesh, i'm so sorry you have your hands full, quite literally and i miss you. skype soon?

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