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    « What page are you on? Or on what page are you? | Main | forcing a post »

    January 04, 2010


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    Ah yes. I wish I could say that I didn't relate. Just tonight, dad was in charge of bath and bed. But the kid was not in a good mood and just wanted mama. Who am I to argue if she's screaming if I'm not there and calm when I am? It was only because she was overtired, and he often puts her to bed with no help, but it's still irritating somehow. I made him stay with me though, because if I wasn't getting a break after taking care of her all day then neither is he!


    Here's a solution: Give the kid to Daddy and take off. Seriously. The way to deal with the "I need your help for every little thing" is to just leave. K. was insecure about taking care of S. all by himself (and, truthfully, so was I) until he was forced on some occasions to deal all by himself. And now he's really good at all aspects and is pulling his weight very well.

    As for you mamas who are doing the kid's bath - really? I have never done bath because S. views it as open bar. (The two or so times I have, I was in a bathing suit!) We established early on that bath is special Daddy time. Of course, K. is consistently home in the evenings, which many daddies can't do!

    I encourage y'all to check out for more info and thoughts on the child care split...


    Hey Anoosh, Thanks for the comment! Just to clarify:

    1. TSA takes him for whole days often, and I've never been worried about his abilities, it just seems like he wants/expects me to do more when I'm around, KWIM?

    2. No way would I be doing the bath WITH him. What I mean by that is next to him, outside the tub, clothes on. :-)

    3. Thanks for the link.


    Mindy, I totally relate!


    Again, laughing. You're so funny and so right.

    Steve so often offers to "feed her, but can you just warm up her food?" And he never understands my annoyance at the fact that he can't just complete the whole task (from warming the food to wiping crap off the floor) especially when I do these tasks all day every day to completion with absolutely no help!

    I've often said I want to be a dad in my next life!


    You might find this more useful for this immediate concern than MomsRising. Here's something from the New York Times:

    This post lists a lot of books about attaining a 50/50 split.

    I don't think we'll be able to accomplish that at our house, certainly not until the kid(s) are both firmly in school!


    I've been thinking about this a lot lately. And the part I keep getting tripped up on is the part about how much better it is than when dad's had very little to do with child rearing. As my husband and I said to each other last night, "Damn 21st Century!" We realize that a lot of arguments we have about division of labor would be completely moot if we had had this kid in the 50s! But then my husband said something great: "If we had had her in the 50s she wouldn't have had a strong female role model like you." And then I said something great: "If we had had her in the 50s she wouldn't be so closely bonded to you." (My husband was home with us for the first three months of her life.) And if we had had her in the 50s, we wouldn't have my paycheck. (I realize this is al vast oversimplification, but it made us feel better.)

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